An Acceptable Compliment

A recent TV ad by a well-known Supermarket chain captured concisely Irish people’s inability to accept compliments: a lady is at a party and receives a casual compliment about her dress from another lady which triggers a monologue about how ugly the dress is and how she doesn’t know why she bought it in the first place. It is a scenario which women all over Ireland can identify with – we often react to compliments as though they were actually insults.

The majority of compliments I receive are about my hair. I consider it an unruly, frizzy mane with a mind of its own, but when I go to the hairdressers, they all gather around and marvel at it as if it was a new baby. Recently I was in a bar in Sligo where another woman groped my hair, before immediately apologising, saying she just “had to touch it!”

I take compliments about my hair with polite unease as I feel in no way deserving or responsible for my hair – it is a genetic gift in which I had no more choice in than my blue eyes or slightly short arms.

Skip back to my pre-Toastmaster existence, when my presentations at work would leave my audience looking at the floor, feeling as uncomfortable and as embarrassed as I felt. Foolishly, I assumed that with time comes wisdom and that eventually I would become a confident speaker. Time ticked on – a year a half to be exact – before I conceded that it is not time that improves us, but rather practice, feedback and experience. And so, my Toastmaster journey began as I joined Talk Club Letterkenny. With the guidance and examples of experienced members, I launched myself into the club, taking on roles, speeches and committee roles, which pushed me outside of my comfort zone, but which made me the speaker I am today.

Now after work presentations, I am the only one perspiring uncomfortably, and both my audience and I can leave each other on eye contact terms. I recently launched our company’s Autumn Winter 2016 Collections, with a very special collection which commemorated the company’s 150^th year in business – a big deal for a family company in the fickle textile and fashion industry.

At the end of the launch, I was complimented on my presentation, and the next day, two of my colleagues stopped me in the corridor to congratulate me on my performance.

Do you know what I did? I flicked my shiny mane, said thank you, and thought – finally, an acceptable compliment.